$1 burger sliders? $2 shots? $3 beers? ALL DAY LONG? It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t.
Holy fucking shit, I found a bar in New York City where I could afford to drink my issues away and not eat cat food for the rest of the week.
123BurgerShotBeer is the kind of place that looks like a total sports bar – glaringly bright lights, high-top seating and huge TV screens play the latest in popular athletics. Waitresses walk around like they are auditioning to work at Hooters, wearing orange cheekster hot pants and t-shirts cut off at the midriff. The only difference is, patrons come for the cheap-as-hell booze, not ogle titties. Despite all this flair however, 123BurgerShotBeer is either totally empty, or full of douchebags.
Doesn’t stop me from sitting at the bar with a couple of friends from graduate school. We all intern aka slave away 40 hours a week for free at various non-profit organizations in the city, so we’re poor as fuck. Getting wasted off $3 beers sounds mighty fine to me. Add to that our regular bartender, Paul, who’d like to sleep with all three of us, and you got yourself a guaranteed $15 tab every night.
Let’s start with the $1 sliders. Posher versions of a White Castle burger taste best when dipped in an array of homemade sauces, to distract you from the fact that you are probably eating Soylent Green. At $2 a shot, your choices range anywhere from Sour Apple Pucker Schnapps-infused juices to cranberry-flavoured medicine cups of shitty alcoholic concoctions. Whatever, us underpaid girls go to town and who doesn’t fancy the idea of shouting “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” in the bar? For $3 you have your choice of some standard draught beers, ranging from Bud Light to Shock Top to my personal favorite, Magner’s Cider (aka alcoholic apple juice).
When we’re feeling even trashier, each of us orders a 100oz beer tower for $30 a pop. That’s when the frat douches and wanna-be Barney Stinsons try and grab our asses, but a stiletto heel jammed into their foot stops prevents any sort of date rape. Sometimes I even get to drunkenly sing “Rock Lobster” during karaoke night to a crowd of inebriated assholes who cheer me on despite my ridiculous song choice.
- Trash-Meter: 8 out of 10 (10 being pretty fucking trashy).
- Alcohol Intake: Extensive. Take advantage of the cheap-ass booze.
- Chance of getting laid: Very likely, if obese sports fans tickle your fancy.
- Final verdict: If you want to experience NYC but can’t justify coughing up $10 for a Miller Light, get here. Quick
738 10th Ave
(between 50th St & 51st St)
New York, NY 10019
Neighborhoods: Hell’s Kitchen, Midtown West