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It seems I have found my niche – trashy travel writing.  Through various collaborations with Matador Network, I have boiled my travel prose down to the dirtiest, raunchiest, rudest forms of conceivable travel.  This article deals with a lot of my personal experiences on not getting laid abroad.  That’s right, you heard it – I’ve been that sloppy drunk, the too-busy-to-fuck student, the one with the boyfriend back home…it’s all there, and it’s hindered my sex life abroad significantly.  For example:

Hit on the locals. Not in an, “I’d love to get to know you, Monsieur Barielles, by having a discussion with you, a few drinks, maybe cross-culturally comparing our lifestyles, etc. Then go back to your flat and bang” way. More like slurring “HEY THERE FRENCHIE, WANNA SCREW?” in a loud, inebriated way (i.e., first paragraph). Desperately beg the locals to sleep with you in an attempt to earn bragging rights within your study abroad program — “Yeah, I’ve had sex with an Australian girl, no big deal.” Slowly discover that, in a lot of countries, coming on to people like that is pretty disrespectful.

So check this shit out and leave a comment or two if you like what you see.  I’m already in talks for some book collaborations and I am very excited about the prospect of publishing my trashy travels.  Onward and upward, U suppose!

How to Not Get Laid While Studying Abroad – Matador Network